jump to the conclusion!

I love you like kings love queens
Like a gay geneticist loves designer genes
I need you like New Orleans needs a drought
Like Hitler’s Father needed to learn to pull out

And I want you
Yeah, like a Lawyer/Mathematician wants some kind of proof
And I want you
Yeah, like JFK wanted a car with a roof

Because love is taking that dive
Then, getting really comfortable and peeing in the pool
And love is a real life porn
Minus all the stuff that makes porn cool

And love is a homeless guy
Searching for treasure in the middle of the rain and
Finding a bag of gold coins and slowly finding out they’re all filled with chocolate and
Even though he’s heart broken, he can’t complain ‘cause he was hungry in the first place

Because I love you like Dora loves maps
Like the pope’s toilet loves holy craps… (that’s a little one)
I need you like a voyeur needs a branch
Like boys tossing salad needs a little bit of Neverland Ranch

And I want you
Yeah, like all the gothic kids that look exactly the same, never want to conform
And I want you like Anne Frank wanted nobody to read her FUCKING diary
‘Cause a diary is a collection of secret things that no one’s supposed to read, that’s the whole point of a diary. Millions of people have breached this little girls privacy after she was chased by Nazis… kick her while she’s down

And if we met in 10,000 BC
I was your caveman, you’s my cavelady
If we got hot, we’d start rubbing
If we got hungry, we’d go clubbing
There’s willy mammoths, but I will protect us
You’re making me devolve to a homo erectus, mothafucker

And if we met in 1780
I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark-skinned servant lady… slave
Whenever I could get away from the Miss’
I go to your shed, and then I’d steal you kisses
But let’s be serious, I’d still work you full-time as a slave, there’s a difference between romantic language and complete disregard for social economic trends

And if we met in 1941
I was a Nazi, yous a Gypsy on the run (that’s a little redundant)
That… probably wouldn’t have worked out…

Because…
Love is your favorite food for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner
And love is the Holocaust, if you don’t die quick, and you don’t get thinner
And love is being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles
And even though you started with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape
Now, you don’t want to reduce it at all cause if the rape rate declines, you’ll see an equal decline in whistle sales
Without rapists, who’s gonna buy your whistles?

Yeahhhh, love is all about… Whistles

Satanism (LaVeyan): The dark religion?

Introduction:

            The follower of Gauthama Buddha, or the Buddhist do not worship Buddha but follow a peaceful philosophy framed by him. Likewise, the Satanists are not followers of the Satan. Satanism is not a religion but a philosophy. Satanism is a very controversial subject in our society because people are misinformed over the true intent of the Satanists. The purposes of the Satanists have changed over the years while the meaning of the term ‘Satan’ has not.

            It is natural that religious interpretations change over time. This change is influenced by modernization and the means the change was carried through, but it is important that people stay educated about the truth. ‘Satan’ over time has gone from meaning the God who causes famine-to an evil doer with followers-to a non-existent philosopher that promotes ‘live-and-let-live’ the most logical way possible. Satanists are not destructive men of chaos as they are believed to be but rather they are philosophers.

History:

            People have worshipped the devil ever since man figured the duality of nature. Man understood there is light and there is darkness, there are men and there are women, there is positive and there is negative, there are acts of good and there are acts of evil. Therefore, if there is god, there must be an adversary equally powerful, The Devil.

            They understood satisfying god alone was not good enough for their wellbeing, satisfying the devil is a requirement too. Devil worship dates back to ancient Egyptian religion which was the cradle for all the modern religion. The Egyptian devil god, Seth was the adversary to Osiris, the giver of life. As an enemy to life, Seth is identified with destruction and death. The Egyptians believed sacrifices to the devil would satisfy the devil’s requirement for blood and the famines and droughts faced in the deserts of Egypt would not be as sever. Archeologist and anthropologists date these to be the first instances of satanic rituals.

            The templar knights of the mid 1200 A.C.E were driven underground by the church because they wore the inverted pentagram on their shields. They were suspected to be worshippers of the demon because of their behavior during the crusades. Those who found were burned alive and those who lived went underground, literally, and gave rise to the famous Freemasons who are known for their peculiar rituals.
            During the early modern period, ranging from 1400 A.C.E to 1700 A.C.E, citizen of Europe were burned alive because they were suspected of witch-craft, which the church ruled said was the worship of the devil. One of the most famous of this execution style of burning was the execution of Joan of Arc who was a Catholic saint suspected of being a witch. The witch-rituals however, survived and have now become the pagan religion of Wicca which contains both, witches of the good and the evil kind. Likewise, it is the religion of Voodoo in the South American lands.

 

Anton Szandor LaVey

            Devil worship in modern time or Satanism achieved wide spread recognition under the founder of the ‘Church of Satan’, ‘The Black Pope’, Anton Szandor LaVey. LaVey began the church and became the high priest only when he was 16. He was an organ player at a carnival. He said :

“On Saturday night I would see men lusting after half-naked girls dancing at the carnival, and on Sunday morning when I was playing the organ for tent show evangelists at the other end of the carnival lot, I would see these same men sitting in the pews with their wives and children, asking God to forgive them and purge them of carnal desires. And the next Saturday night they’d be back at the carnival or some other place of indulgence.

“I knew then that the Christian Church thrives on hypocrisy, and that man’s carnal nature will out!”

[Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey Page#2]

 

            This opened LaVey’s eyes. On April 30th, 1966, believers of witch-craft celebrated Walpurgisnacht, a sacred festival for those, LaVey shaved his head in the tradition of ancient executioners and announced the inaugural of the Church. He felt the need for a Church that would embrace the human nature and satisfy the carnal desires of man. He said, “Since worship of fleshly things produces pleasure, there will be a temple of glorious indulgence….”  [Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey]

            

The Church of Satan

            Founded by Anton LaVey on April 30th, 1966, this church embraces the natural behavior of human kind. This church does not recognize satan or the devil as a superior entity. They follow a philosophy called Satanism to live their lives. Author Burton H.Wolfe, who wrote the introduction to the satanic bible among many other works, described this church as ‘unorthodox’,’ rational’,’ logical’ and based on reality.

            The beliefs of the church are based on the philosophy. They have 9 satanic statements that they believe to outline what ‘satan’ represents:

1.     Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.

2.     Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.

3.     Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.

4.     Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates.

5.     Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.

6.     Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires.

7.     Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development”, has become the most vicious animal of all.

8.     Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.

9.     Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years.

The Satanist also hold true 9 satanic sins that include: Stupidity, Pretentiousness, Solipsism (anything beyond one’s own mind is unjustified), Self-deceit, Herd conformity, Lack of perspective, forgetting past Orthodoxies, Counterproductive pride and Lack of Atheistics.

As any religious organization, the satanic church has rules too. The followers of the church are to abide by them. These rules are collected and framed into 11 satanic rules:

1.     Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2.     Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3.     When in another’s lair, show them respect or else do not go there.

4.     If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.

5.     Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6.     Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.

7.     Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8.     Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9.     Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don’t stop, destroy them.

The Church of Satan celebrates very few holidays. One of their important holidays is Walpurgis Night (Walpurgisnacht) which is an important holiday for the witches and Halloween. They call Halloween as the only night the world is hypocrisy free. But, the most important festival for a Satanist is his birthday.

 

The Philosophy:

            The preachers of Satanism are hedonist and base their teachings likewise. They believe in individualism, self-control and vengeance. Anton LaVey’s thought process was influenced by philosophers like Ayn Rand (Author of The fountainhead and Atlas shrugged) and renowned german philosopher- Friedrich Nietzsche.

            Anton LaVey’s Satanism unlike the old-school Satanism did not recognize devil as their religious head. LaVey’s version of Satanism takes an atheistic reign where they identify human being as the supreme creature. They do not worship any deity but live by the philosophy they stand for. His religion is called ‘Satanism’ because of what the Catholic Church labeled as the acts of Satan like indulgence and vengeance. When asked Anton LaVey about god, he says:

“…the Satanist simply accepts the definition which suits him best. Man has always created his gods, rather than his gods creating him. To the Satanist “God”…is seen as the balancing force in nature, and not as being concerned with suffering.” [Essay: Wanted!- God-Dead or Alive; The satanic bible]

            The followers of Satanism believe in living life to the fullest. They follow the hedonic principle of satisfaction. They believe in gratification of human needs as a species and also follow the ‘might is right’ theory of Charles Darwin. They believe in avenging the wrong done to them.  Anton LaVey in an interview said, “A lion does not forgive a wolf for disturbing him, he destroys the wolf.” They believe forgiveness is the virtue of those unable to avenge the wrong done onto them.

            Anton LaVey bends towards indulgence than abstinence. He does not believe in suffocating our natural urges. To counter the popular belief, Satanism does not promote sex. In his essay, Satanic sex by Anton LaVey, he writes sex is a personal choice. It is based on the individual if he or she chooses to indulge. He recognizes the fact different people have different sexual needs and says nobody is wrong for the choice they pick. He counters the church’s ruling on sex as wrong, and explains how sex is one of the most important parts of human beings as a species. After this, he goes on to explain how a person should be allowed to express his or her sexual needs ‘as long as it hurts nobody’, which he goes on to explain, those who do not wish to be hurt.

Satanic Rituals: [Book of Belial, The satanic bible]

            Anton LaVey divided the rituals into three different types:

1.      The Lust ritual: This ritual is conducted to attract a person of your choice, sexually towards you. He applies emphasis on the part where you ‘need’ to have a particular type of person for this ritual to work.

2.      The Compassion Ritual: This ritual is conducted to increase one’s personal welfare or the welfare of someone who they care for. Material wealth and physical health falls under this category.

3.      Destructive Curses: These rituals are conducted to hurt one’s enemies. Jinx, hexes and curses fall under this.

 

The satanic Rituals are almost as misunderstood as the religion. Anton LaVey does not promote violence to his followers until provoked. He does not promote rape, burning of children, sacrifices, vandalism or any of the other horrific claims bestowed on them. He actually promotes a very logical philosophy to his followers that is designed to satisfy the person’s life as a human being. The present day society has misunderstood the Satanists because over time, the society has not redefined who the Satanists were in the society but adhered to an ancient description which does not provide a satisfactory description of who the Satanist really are.

I never get to know what I got because if I lost it, I don’t have it anymore.

yurp.